Let’s call it like it is … I have trouble relating to most men, particularly of my general age group. More so, I have a HUGE problem with those that solve their problems with violence. I’ve been that guy at some stage in my life. He was a big jerk, I didn’t like him very much at all, and neither did anybody else.
Even though I’ll admit to that behavior some time in the distant past, it’s never once been the case that it involved anybody lacking a Y-chromosome. Maybe I’m a bit backward and sexist in that, but I can’t rationalize laying hands on a woman, and I have a very real problem with men that can and do. I think it has to do with my upbringing … my old man’s fairly old school, and I still believe that if I were to ever hit a girl, he would show up within five or ten minutes to make certain that I understood the mistake that I’d made.
What’s that have to do with flatmates?
Thanks to the sort of model gentleman that I’ve described above, I gave a former flame my word that should the dude get into the habit of that sort of noise, my door would be open as long as need be. He developed just such a habit about three quick breaths later, and she decided to put up with it for a while. That was pretty dumb, but I’m going to avoid pointing that out to her. She’s finally had enough, and she’s calling in the aforementioned favor. Another aspect of my upbringing is that it’s very, very hard for me to go back on my word, so I’m getting started with the moving her in within the next few hours.
What’s that have to do with pantslessness?
I’m not really all that much a man’s man. I enjoy long walks, equally long, hot baths, and romcoms (though they’re never rom and/or com). While I am a proud, card-carrying member of the SANS PANTS movement, I’m also INCREDIBLY shy. All things considered, I’m going to have to forsake the joy that is brought about by a lack of trousers.
Dude? Isn’t she an ex for a reason?
Clearly, this is all a horrible idea. I’m glad she knows that I can be trusted in this sort of thing, but we parted on anything but pleasant terms. The only real good that can come of this, aside from getting her out of a dangerous situation, is that cooking for one is one of the more depressing activities in life, so having another mouth in the house will be beneficial to me as well. Now, THAT’S rationalization. You can tell because of all the commas.
A very special episode …
I’m often flippant and cynical in my writings, but I do hope that the rest of this one is taken at face value. Domestic abuse is among the greatest of completely unnecessary evils. Cut that junk out, kids. If you’re in the same situation as my friend, I urge you to go out and get some help. There aren’t enough of my kind to go around.
