So, I’ve lived in this apartment for a year and a half now, just about, and I still don’t have any furniture, really.

My landlord runs an antique shop on the ground floor, and I’ll occasionally borrow an item or two (like the little seat-and-a-half chair thing that is just inside my door, formerly blocking the door due to some renovation that was going on), but I’ve done fairly well to avoid adding anything that could even remotely be considered permanent, comfortable, or usable.

The reason? I don’t really like people all that much, to be honest. If I have a dwelling full of seating, that seems to imply to people that they should come over. Also, the floor’s good enough for me, so it really should be good enough for them, too, in my mind. The fact remains, though, that having some back support would be nice, so I’m on the lookout for furniture. More than anything, I’d really like to put a padded porch swing in the apartment in lieu of a couch.

To that end, I’m even working on a design for such a beast. The big problem at the moment is that the only material with which I can feasibly work is PVC piping (I have a fun little coffee table … PVC frame and ABS top), and it’s a bitch to get anything outside of a “standard” angle connector for such, particularly when we’re talking about the 3” diameter range, which would be required, in my mind, to compensate for my weight, let alone the weight of additional people on the swing.

I’d really like to have a traditional, two strands of chain porch swing for this thing, but considering the materials that I’m looking at, a glider would be a lot more feasible.

One of my buddies at work is a functional design specialist from another life, so I’m hoping that he’ll have some ideas. If you have any (outside of “buy a fucking porch swing”), feel free to drop a comment.