Most typically, discussions with our lord and savior, Casper Fox (combined with notions that are on my mind at the given time) produce some true gems. Here are a few from the last 24-hours:

It’s true that distance makes the heart grow fonder. It also negatively impacts the stomach, liver, small intestine, appendix, colon, and eyes. All in all, distance could be the leading cause of Crohns Disease.

If you are ever lucky enough to have bestowed upon you a racecar blanket for the purpose of a sleepover, you’re sleeping over. There is no question as to this, and resistance is not only futile, but really mean.

It’s five in the morning, and you’ve just woken up to a cat sleeping on your face and an excruciating charlie horse. There is a tiny face peering around the top of the stairwell, knowing full well that he or she is going to be in some deep shit if his or her parents learn that the respective bedroom is vacant at this hour. You hear “can I come down and snuggle?” If (after verifying that there is clothing on said tiny person) you say anything other than “come on down, buddy,” either your soul is filled with doodie, or you lack a fucking soul altogether.

Not necessarily the worshippers, but most certainly the Catholic Church as an entity is currently at its highest level of evil and ill since the Dark Ages. There are groups acting out against the relatively banal wrongs of the organizers of Scientology, and while I’m certainly no fan of that particular cult, it might be a good idea to take a look at other, more cataclysmically destructive organizations.

Typically, romantic comedies are only comedies in the same sense that the Divine Comedy is a comedy. On its face, and even on its ass, a romcom tends to be anything but humorous. At its best, a romcom is actually just a really long sitcom (see The Sweetest Thing). I still thoroughly enjoy romcoms, but they’re almost always a lot more tragic than funny, which is only funny if the observer is a sadist.

That’s all I’ve got. Here’s to another year I didn’t particularly want.